Battle of the Borders-AK

I woke up to the sound of my little cousin crying. This happened to me daily, since the time I arrived to Jounieh, at my aunt’s house. I dragged myself out of bed, it was around 7 am. I woke my cousins up. “Rasha, Yara, wake up.”

My days haven’t been that happy, ever since the war started. We walked down the wooden stairs and entered the kitchen. The kitchen isn’t that spacious, so were crammed into each other. As I was having my breakfast, I began to question myself, as I am sitting here, eating, while many people were suffering. I suddenly lost my appetite. I pushed my chair back and jumped out of my seat. I walked into the next room. It was a cozy room, paintings on the wall, a big white couch, and a coffee table in the middle. I grabbed the remote control, and my cousins walked into the room. Usually I don’t watch the news. Instead, today I did. I really wanted to know what was going on around me.

I usually spend my days there in the house. It was very calm. A bit too calm. It was far away from the city, so we didn’t hear much, except for one day…

Fast asleep, until I heard an earsplitting explosion. My cousins were all awake yelling and screaming. They ran up the stairs, I could hear the footsteps. I jumped out of bed, unlike the past week. I was trembling with fear. I was terrified. When they came upstairs, we all hurried down, and breathed heavily. “3amo Ali what was that? I was asleep and there was an explosion!?!” I said gasping. My uncle quickly turned on the T.V and switches to the news to follow up and hear the reports about it. He was even clueless. It reports that they hit a bridge right next to us. We could look out of the balcony and see the destruction, and I could smell the smoke. My heart fell to pieces. Later that day, we heard louder, more disturbing, and very painful sounds.

The next few days, all I would do was lie in bed or sit on the balcony. Thoughts were running in my head. I carried so much hatred for the Israelis. My country was falling apart, being squashed like a bug. It was being destroyed; people are dying, and losing their homes, while I am just sitting here. I felt so much guilt that I was still alive. I wondered if the war would ever come to an end. I was always thinking about my friends. I missed them so much it hurt. We are apart, and I couldn’t take it any longer. When I looked out of the balcony, the streets would seem so dead and empty, like a haunted house. Usually it would be full of life, people walking on the side walk, or cars of different sizes and colors, speeding down the street. But now, nothing, absolutely nothing.

Sometimes in the evenings I would cry myself to sleep. I was always so tense. A smile was never on my face. Time passed extremely slowly. My life couldn’t get any worse. I was so affected by this; I was so sensitive and emotional all the time. I burst into tears about the silliest things. I felt so helpless and weak. I felt like I was drowning in the ocean. It was tough for me, it was tough for everyone. It was even more difficult because I was away from my family. I miss them so much, but I had to be safe. At times I wished they were there to hug and talk to. I needed them. I talked to my mom about every night, to make me feel better. I stop to think, that during this war, children have lost their mothers, in their times of need they couldn’t hear reassuring and supporting words from their mom. They had no one to go to. I was so thankful. Sometimes I tried to keep the negative thoughts out of my mind, but there were too many. I could never come across a positive thought. My life seemed to be over.

Weeks later, they set a cease-fire date. I was counting down the minutes, I was so exited and cheerful. I felt alive again. Everything was coming together. I got my life back.