My Fate in Lebanon-MA

This summer, my future in Lebanon was questioned. On July 4, 2006 on traveled with my basketball club to Egypt to participate in a basketball tournament.

On the 15 of July, which was the day we were schedules to return to Beirut, I was chatting with a couple of friends in my room, when suddenly, my basketball coach came into my room, his face as red as a tomato. He turned on the television and began to listen to the news. The next thing I heard was, “Israel Kasafo il matar! (Israel bombed the airport)

The first thing that came to mind was wondering how I was going to go back to Lebanon. What was I going to do if the situation in Lebanon didn’t calm down soon? What about my school, my friends?! While I was in Egypt, I would sit in my dorm all day saying to myself, “What’s next?” At times, there would be many kids in a room, each person thinking about his situation and their future in Lebanon. I personally thought that there was no hope of me returning to my country. Anyways, I was not keen of returning to Lebanon because it was too risky and dangerous for me to go back.

Both my siblings had studied at [my school], and I didn’t want my education to be different from theirs. As the days passed, my determination towards returning to Lebanon grew, until it felt like a nuclear bomb inside waiting to explode. But the thought Lebanon’s exquisiteness and beauty was far from what was passing through my head. Most of it was filled with the sounds of tank bomb barrages, the sight of dead children lying lifeless on the floor, and the smell of destruction.

July 15th was the day that we went to Syria. That bomb in my head had exploded but undoubtedly blew up as a result of happiness. When we arrived at the Syrian airport, we took a cab back to Lebanon. When I first opened the cab door, I said to myself with bravery, “so I’m on my way back to Lebanon, and simultaneously everyone in Lebanon is doing everything they can to get out of the country,” and I sighed but deep inside I was terrified. The flight to Syria was a trip filled with ease and relaxation. It felt like the” escape” from Egypt to Lebanon took around ten seconds, although it took about one our and fifteen minutes. When we arrived at the Syrian airport, I believed like I was so close to freedom, that I could almost touch Lebanon’s earth. As I got into the cab, I started to feel a little scared. The cab driver told me awi albak oo ool allah (be brave and pray to God). What if dome disasters were to happen on the way to Lebanon? Maybe an Israeli jet plane was to fire a missile at the car. I was me, my brother, and another person from the club that I traveled with in one small van. My teammate asked shou Marwan khayif shee (so Marwan are you scared). I answered ei kteer (yes a lot). The whole car ride was silent with eagerness. I tried to convince myself to think positive and to be brave and not be scared, but to no avail. It seemed like days had passed, until I had finally crossed the boarders to Syria. All the fears I had earlier had disappeared instantly. I regained all the hope I had of containing my educational life in Lebanon, where I belonged. From then on, time quickly started to speed up, and at last I had reached my home! While I was ringing the doorbell, my heart started to beat more rapidly. My heart was beating potential. The feeling was indescribable the second I hugged my parents. The later weeks were spent at home waiting for something different to happen, other than watching hundreds of displaced families weeping. “20 families displaced and 30 people killed in Israeli attacks,” was all that came out of the television those couple of weeks.

Then when the news came about a permanent seize-fire, it was as if my whole life had changed all together. I knew that this information was to lead to more good news. Everyday I watched the news listening the Lebanese citizens of Lebanon, thanking the lord for what He has privileged them with. It was then when I knew for sure that I could carry on in schooling at [my school in Beirut]. What a feeling it was to know that whatever my fate was to be, it would be in my country, the country I love.